Unfortunately, the task of being a daddy or mum doesn’t come with an instruction manual and, as much as we try to know everything and anything else before our offspring arrives, nothing can prepare us for the great adventure of parenthood. It is a path that can only be followed by walking it and learning comes, as in everything, with experience.
Sometimes, and unconsciously, we even tend to adopt the education given to us by our parents when, in fact, the reality then lived has nothing to do with the current one. It’s up to us, dads, to try to be aware of the constant changes in the environment in which we operate so that the education we give our children is the most adequate.
Here are 10 mistakes to avoid in your children’s education:
1. Not listening/not giving importance to your child’s outbursts
It is very common for parents to ignore what their children have to say to them because they consider it unimportant. It is sometimes difficult for an adult to place themselves in the child’s reality and attribute the same relevance to their problem. However, it is extremely important for your children to feel that they are listened to by their parents and that they can share whatever they want with them.
2. Rebuke behaviors using the “no”
Some parents use the word “no” excessively, sometimes just out of impulse in an attempt to avoid their child’s inappropriate behavior. They do this to avoid investing energy, time, and emotion in solving a problem that could otherwise be resolved. When scolding your child, avoid negativity and try to make him understand the consequences of his actions so that he has the freedom to reflect on them and thus learn from his own mistakes.
3. Not making time to spend with your child
The moments spent with the family are the basis for building a united and happy family. Your child will only feel truly supported and secure if you make time to spend quality time with him. It is equally important that you are really present when you are with your child, that is, not constantly on the phone or thinking about work issues that might be bothering you.
4. Reward children with material objects
This behavior is a consequence of the previous point. It is typical of those parents who spend a lot of time away for whatever reason and think that their absence can be made up with toys, food or other expensive items. It also occurs when the parents themselves experienced a childhood of poverty and want, now as adults, to provide their children with what they did not have. This makes children measure the affection and value of people by the material goods they offer, which contributes for all their relationships to be based on materialism.
5. Not saying “I love you”
We all like to feel loved, especially children. Children are constantly in need of attention, it is actually in the absence of this that many tantrums originate. It is understandable that in the midst of everyday tasks, displays of affection take a back seat, but make an effort to show your child how much you love him every day.
6. Compare your child to other children
Each child has their own rhythm and this cannot and should not be compared to other children. By making these comparisons, you are putting your child down and, as a result, he feels humiliated. This attitude can trigger self-esteem issues that will worsen in the future.
7. Abusing compliments (not correlated with behavior)
While belittling your child is bad practice, so is abusing praise. Praise plays an important role in motivating behavior, however, it is crucial to know under what circumstances to give praise. Praise should always be the result of an effort or achievement on the part of your child. When used in excess, for any occasion and for everyone, it becomes empty and meaningless.
8. Falling into overprotection
It is natural that you want to protect your child from all the harm that can happen to him, but understand that it is from experimentation that your child will learn the most. Only by falling and rising again will he learn to cope on his own and face difficulties autonomously. In this way, your child will acquire essential skills for their development as a human being.
9. Do not assign your child any responsibility
Teaching self-esteem and responsibility from an early age is very important for your child to realize that they have roles to fulfill within the family. In this way, he will feel useful and contribute to everyday tasks. Start by delegating simple tasks and don’t make the mistake of thinking your child is too immature to take on a particular responsibility. Again, mistakes are what they learn from.
10. Blackmailing your child
This is a common mistake that parents make with their children since they are small, with the classic blackmail that they can’t eat dessert if they don’t finish the main course. Many parents think that blackmail works as a motivation for their children when, in reality, it is a method that has no effect in terms of learning. If your child is not responsible enough to fulfill his obligations, blackmailing him will not teach him anything.
Do you review yourself in any of these topics? If so, start now to change these little behaviors because our children are our most precious asset and deserve the best education!
If you don’t have children yet, there are already some tools gathered here for you to venture into parenthood! And believe me, you won’t regret it!